To the best of our immediate knowledge, there is only one book that exists that focuses on Anti-Nazi jokes leading up to — and during — World War II.
I tried to turn the jokes into a short story of their own. Here is an excerpt of that, focusing on Werner Finck, a video of whom is posted above; after the war was over, the saying goes that soldiers thought that this man — a comedian who made fun of the Nazis to their face — was a myth:
“Herr Finck — your situation could not be a simpler one. If you wish to leave this cell alive, you will tell us every single anti-Nazi joke you know.”
The green-hued gristle of the Sgt. Major’s face sunk into the field of vision like a moon recently bit by a rabid dog.
Werner Finck rubbed a patch of flesh over his right eyebrow with his right hand and took in the quiet the way one took in a view.“Well — that could take a while.”
“What’s the phrase the Americans use? Show me.”
Finck shrugged.
“One of the first ones I did is that I’d bring giant, blown-up photos of Hitler, Goering, Goebbels and others on stage and I’d say, ‘Now, should I hang them, or line them up against the wall?’Another one was simple — I’d send someone out on stage with a sock in their mouth, wait a few minutes, and then the announcer would walk out and say, ‘Now that the political part of our program is over, we’ll move onto other entertainment.’”
…
“We’ve killed nearly 5,000 for jokes, you know.”
“And do you get tired hoofing that many numbers out in the stable?”
Crawling back into his chair, rubbing his jaw, Finck said, “And I suppose you want the rest?”
“If you please.”
“Fine — here’s one:St. Peter also decreed that the world’s leaders be sent to a lake of mud in purgatory to atone for their sins. President Roosevelt is in a shallow part of the lake, only up to his knees. Churchill is in up to his waist. Stalin up to his neck.But Hitler, surprisingly enough, only up to his ankles.
Says Stalin: I say, Adolf, can’t you slip me a tip on how you wrangled that soft spot?”“Don’t breathe a word to anybody,” says Hitler, “but I’m standing on Mussolini.”
Laughing? No? Here’s another:
Hitler visits a lunatic asylum — much like this one, except our jailors are crazy. Anyway — as he passes down the line, he comes across — steady yourself now, Sgt. Major — a man who isn’t saluting.
“Why aren’t you saluting like the others?” Hitler barks.
“Mein Führer, I’m the nurse,” comes the answer. “I’m not crazy!”What? Not even a grimace of pleasure? Here’s one about the Jews — you’ll love that:
“Two Jews are about to be shot. Suddenly the order comes to hang them instead. One says to the other “You see, they’re running out of bullets.”
And who knows whether or not you’re going to have to scrap a Volkswagon or two. Hey. Hey. What’s the matter? This isn’t your first rodeo, is it? Do we even have rodeos in Berlin yet? That wasn’t in the Nazi budget, eh? If the bronco bucks hard enough, you might be able to interpret that as a salute, but who am I to claim any expertise on this little political treehouse club of yours? Anyway — you want one more? Here’s one:
Hitler and Goering ran over and killed a farmer’s pig. Goering goes to the farmer’s house to break the news, but doesn’t return, and Hitler sits in the car trembling. Two hours later, Goering re-appears, saying that the farmer, curiously enough, had wined and dined him after he reported what had happened. All he had said was: ‘Heil Hitler! The pig is dead.’”
…
Werner looked at a hopping speck on the floor, leaned over and whispered, “You wouldn’t happen to know Steve McQueen by any chance, would you?”
2.
Wikipedia thinks “he could read the phone book and make it extremely funny.”
